no. you can't hotbox the world.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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