I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
