I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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