We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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