i think i have herpe
just one?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
