I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize