I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
