Michael Bay diarrhea
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
