and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
