Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
