Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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