he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize