Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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