Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
