Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
