he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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