I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize