Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
