Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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