I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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