Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
