this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
