Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize