:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
