so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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