I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
