been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
