Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
