so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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