i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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