We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
