I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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