Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
