I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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