I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
my liver is dry heaving
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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