Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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