i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
