i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize