you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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