She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize