i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
