U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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