So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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