We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm really busy with my period
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