We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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