i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
