I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
