he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dignity is for republicans.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
