how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
being pregnant is like rehab
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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