what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
