I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
