Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize