You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
