hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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