The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
