Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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