I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
