the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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