Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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