I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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