I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
