It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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