some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
