brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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