Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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