I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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