I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
