Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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