Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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