You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
