girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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